A few weeks ago I posted some of my favorite quotes and sayings that I’ve received from 5 years of working with children. Here are a few more gems that I’ve saved in my little quote notebook. Enjoy.

A 7 yr. old forgot his lunch during camp one day
Me: Do you want me to go make you a PB&J? Or would you rather have this extra hot dog lunch?
Him: I’m a vegetarian. I’ve never eaten any meat…except a marshmallow once.

4th grade girl: Is a bagel a romantic food?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: Never mind, I’ll just write down spaghetti.

Subbing for 5th grade one day and I gave them their list of things to do…
Kid: Maggie, this is a lot of work!
Me: Sorry guys, this is what your teacher wanted you to get to work on.
Kid walks up to me and hands me a Snickers bar and says, “Here…eat this. You’re seriously no fun when you’re hungry.”

7 yr. old: Hey Miss Maggie, want to hear the song of my people?
*Begins violent armpit farting*

Helping a 3rd grader with their homework on the solar system:
Me: You know, when I was your age, there were 9 planets. They included Pluto.
3rd grader: Wow, I knew you were old but not THAT old.

Kindergartener: Miss Maggie, guess what I did over break. I tried to grow chest hair with Vaseline!
Me: Did it work?
Him: Yes! I call it Vase-Hair! But if you put it under your arms you get armpit hair. My dad has that and it’s gross.

On a rainy day when the kids had spent most of the day inside, I had to talk to a couple 4th grade boys about the level of their voices.
Me: Boys! How many times have I had to ask you to lower your voice??
(4th grader #1 starts counting.)
4th grader #2: Dude, I’m pretty sure that’s one of those questions we’re not actually supposed to answer.

4th grader: You know, I love her (his classmate).
Kayley (his counselor): Yeah, you guys are pretty good friends.
4th grader: No Miss Kayley, the other love.