As a therapist, part of my job is to be aware of the roles that people play and how it impacts the way they experience and live their day-to-day lives. I’m a therapist whose main model for conducting therapy, coaching, consulting, etc. is that of systems theory. One of the aspects of life that systems pays close attention is that of roles…which means that I am one who REALLY believes in the importance of roles. There’s a lot we can learn about ourselves and those we live/work/interact with when we start paying attention to the roles that are played out around us.
Systems theory espouses the notion that there are major (systemic) and minor (functional) roles that play out in our lives in the places that we live and work. Interestingly enough, we’re most consciously aware of the minor roles that we play. Let’s look at the family for an example. In most families there are sets of roles that are established to keep the family functioning (hence functional). These minor roles are broken down even further to primary minor roles:
• Husband
• Wife
• Father
• Mother
• Child
• Sibling, etc,
And secondary minor roles:
• Chauffer
• Cook
• Disciplinarian
• Scheduler
• Family nurse
• Lawn keeper, etc.
These roles will vary for each family, and are oftentimes the easiest to change without blowback from other family members. Don’t misunderstand – there can be conflict, but usually not on the scale that occurs when a major role change is attempted to the dismay of one or more members of the family.
Much like their minor role counterparts, major (systemic) roles comprise a repertoire of behaviors, but unlike minor roles, majors are assigned unconsciously and are often in place to preserve the uniqueness of the family system. Major rules include:
• The Caretaker – cares for the needs of the system; may often also enables its dysfunction.
• The Hero – brings honor and glory to the system; often a people pleaser.
• The Scapegoat – acts out the dysfunction within the system; receives a lot of attention.
• The Lost Child – withdraws from the chaos of the system; dwells on the fringes.
• The Mascot – provides relief and comfort to the system, often through humor.
These roles are present in every system – family of origin, family of procreation, workgroup, church council, etc. Look at the different systems in your life (there are more than you think!), and see what roles you play in each case. If this interests you enough, take a few minutes each day to write down the tasks you completed that day for each group – be aware of your own behaviors and see how you function in each role. Which roles are most favorable for you? Which are most unfavorable? Which ones do you play most – the favorable or unfavorable roles, and where do you play them?
This is the first in a series about roles. In the next installment we’ll take a more in-depth look at the different types of roles that occur in the workplace.